This shit is just unfair (DAWG stories #4)
My Definition of a DAWG (on http://www.urbandictionary.com/)
I just came to the realization of how unfair life is. How come I got 8 million of these DAWG stories? Damn.
Forget what I wrote earlier. I was fucked up and tired and crazy. I couldn't help it. I was out of my mind, high on Pepsi and SunKist. I was talking gibberish, walking around in my drawers. I think I saw Alf and Johnny Carson making out outside my window. And the funny thing I only got to sleep two hours and I was back up again. Everytime I would doze off, I would wake back up two minutes later. And when the morning came, I wasn't fucked up. I was back to being sane. I think it was an adrenaline rush or something. Because i was all cracky and shaky last night, and when the morning came, I was cool and shit. And I thought I would be sleepy when I got home. Nope. I'm on-line, surfing the web.
Today, I will continue on DAWG #2, the one who called me a crackhead. She said several memorable quotes, many of which I don't remember. Here's the ones I do remember:
Sez DAWG: I think we should not spend any money to clean up the Cheaseapeake Bay. I think we should put that money towards, like, civil rights.
Sez person: Its not really about putting government money into civil rights...
Sez DAWG: Hey, stop making fun of me. I have a right to voice my opinion
Sez me: ...however misguided it may be.
Sez person: If we are going to have equal education, then we should get rid of braille, since that is a special thing for blind people only.
Sez other person: Yeah, and then we just might as well shoot em all.
Sez me: Theyd never see it coming.
Sez DAWG: Thats the most evil use of a pun ive heard in my entire life!
Actually, im pretty sure she didnt say "pun." She probably said a "word-trickery-thingy" or some bullshit like that. But thats a DAWG for ya.
In other news: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. President What's-his-face did a speech yesterday. Yippee! Freedom for everybody. It's another great day for the great nation of America. Yadda-Yadda-Yadda. The world is a better place. Now, let's all vomit in unison.
In yet other news: I'm going to do some shoutouts, nhjic, cause thats just the type of person I am.
- Tony Macq does sports, nhjic. Shit is in its infancy, but its still pretty cool. Is this the replacement to the book provided by Jonathan Fitzgerald, no everything? I dont know exactly what the situation is with Fitz, no homo. But anyways. Ch-ch-check it out.
- A Salute to Weed Carriers. 2 Words: Wu-Tang Aint Nuthin ta Fuck Wit! Ok, maybe I meant 7 words.
- Shabooty's Madness. The Internet is a sick, donkey-humping disaster. Find out more here.
- Kanyegate. I'm still lettin motherfuckers know about douchebags, no homo.