Friday, April 08, 2005

Love poetry and cyber sex

What up what up. This is Houston, yeah the real Houston. Yesterday I emailed 2 of my fans, except this time, I attempted to get some e-pussy, knah what I mean?


Subject: Are you interested in cyber sex?
To: Rose [e-mail widthheld]

hello, my name is houston summers. i read somewhere that you were interested in cyber sex...is this true?
please respond


Subject: is it true that are you interested in cyber sex?
To: [widtheld]

hi, my name is houston summers. i read somewhere on a webpage that you were interested in cyber sex...is this true? cuz im kinda considered a pro at it, knah what I mean?
please answer
-houston s.

Today, someone replied to my request fo that e-pussy. It was incredibly hard to read, but I noticed she wrote back simply:

"yes asl describe"

The meaning of which I dont get. Thats an l, not an I, after "as". Maybe she missed an l and meant to say "asll" like "as I will"? God knows. So I wrote back:

Subject: Re: Are you interested in cyber sex?
To: Rose [e-mail widthheld]

you wrote: "yes asl describe"
Im not sure what you meant by "asl". But I think you are saying, in essence, "yes". And if so, are you interested in me? If so, how/where/when do you want it to happen? It's all up to you.
houston
P.S. - how old are you?

Finally, I emailed mimi with both a marriage proposal and a love poem. Ill give the deep, dark secret that it was ghostwritten by my friend and manager djxplicit. What, you expected me to have talent? djxplicit would like to add that he is no sappy love poem writer, but that he couldnt think of any funnier things to do. He especially loved the parts about breathing since Ive never been more than a couple of states away.


Subject: This is Houston
To: Mimi [laughlater@gmail.com]

Hello. This is Houston Summers. Mimi...will all 3/8's of your face and 1/3 of your body marry me? I made a poem to every fraction of your body and face. I just made it right now:

Give me your footprints so I can use them as shoes
Give me your doubts so I can make myself a bracelet
Use my hands to make yourself a ladder that reaches the clouds and fly

Lie to me a little to maintain me alert
Make me a hammock with the decline of the moon
Give me your laughter for the times in mourning

Rid yourself of the weight of the kisses that are leftovers to you
It's always so difficult to breathe the air in which you are not
It's always so diffcult!

Give me your dreams so I can make you a necklace
Give me your past so as to not take away your time
Its just that what is leftovers to you saves my life

Give me your weeping so I can cry it with you
Give me the mystery in your eyes when you sleep
give me the air when you exhale to see if I breathe you

Give my name to that spot on your cheek
Tell your ear to listen to me
Save my hands with the touch of your back

Give me the remedy so that I will never be cured
It's always so easy to breathe the air in which you are at
It's always so easy!

Give me your dreams so I can make you a necklace
Give me your past so as to not take away your time
Its just that what is leftovers to you saves my life

Give me your weeping so I can cry it with you
Give me the mystery in your eyes when you sleep
give me the air when you exhale to see if I breathe you

Take away my kiss
Put it wherever you please
Give me a pretext to re-start my life

Give me whatevever you want to give me
Take away whatevever you want to take away from me
Its just that what is leftovers to you saves my life

[Djxplicit note: If you didnt laugh during this post, you have no heart]

10 Comments:

Blogger ..::Meems::.. said...

I laugh everytime I read it. In fact, the last time I read it, I cried.....





Because I was laughing so hard.

4:31 PM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

the funniest thing is that it could be passed off as serious work when it was just me thinking of the stupidest things i could say. note to everyone: never take houston seriously unless he threatens to kill himself.

5:02 PM  
Blogger Houston said...

stop denying your true feelings, mimi. you said (and i quote):

"Awww. Thank you.That's really sweet"

and plus theres the fact that youve read it multiple times by you own admission:

"everytime I read it"
"last time I read it"

5:26 PM  
Blogger ..::Meems::.. said...

There's this thing, it's called LYING.

6:50 PM  
Blogger Geekbird said...

Dude, mimi's a commentor on my site and all, but she's getting on my nerves. She gets more comments then I do. If she doesn't accept your proposal for marriage, I'm giving her the boot and will excommunicate her.

10:56 PM  
Blogger Houston said...

> There's this thing, it's called LYING.

right, so stop doing it and accept your true feelings.

12:42 AM  
Blogger Houston said...

p.s. its been reported that asl means
"age, sex, location"

1:05 AM  
Blogger ..::Meems::.. said...

Geekbird, why you keep tripping over the comments? I can't help that I'm more popular than you are.

Houston, whatever.

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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I noticed you have a nice blog, read all of your links kept me interested for a good time! well done :)

Thanks for a good read instead of some of the other stuff people post here!

3:15 AM  
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5:09 AM  

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