Sunday, April 10, 2005

Houston emails the mo'fuckin NAACP

So in my daily quest to marry Mimi, I was shocked when I checked my email and found a simple (yet shocking) message:

From: "Mimi" laughlater@gmail.com
To: "Houston"
Subject: Re:

heh. whatever. i don't date black guys.

after i had a heart attack, i did the rational thing to do: i emailed the NAACP.

From: "Houston" bloodlinefeud@yahoo.com
Subject: issue
To: naacpmc@aol.com

hello. i have been trying to marry this girl mimi for a while now, and i was shocked when she told me (and i quote): "whatever. i don't date black guys." following my ensuing shock and outrage, i tried to collect myself, and i stand here, before you, asking for help. you see, the the "ACP" in your name stands for "Advancement of Colored People", and i am a colored person, and marrying her would advance me.

thank you
-Houston S.

I got a "Mail Delivery" error, so I just sent the same letter to the Houston branch of the NAACP (branch@naacphouston.org, for anybody who wants to know). I wrapped my day by sending this email to Mimi:

From: "Houston" bloodlinefeud@yahoo.com
Subject: Re:
To: "Mimi" laughlater@gmail.com

my man (no homo) djxplicit has translated that poem into spanish. show it to all of your friends.

Dame Tus Huellas, Para Usarlas De Zapatos.
Dame Tus Dudas, Para Hacerme Una Pulsera.
Usa Mis Manos, Para Hacerte Una Escalera.
Hasta Las Nubes, Y Volar A Donde Sea.
Mienteme Un Poco, Para Mantenerme Atento.

Hazme Una Hamaca, Con El Menguate De La Luna.
Dame Tu Risa, Para Los Tiempos En Veda.
Quitate El Peso, De Los Besos Que Te Sobren.
Es Tan Dificil Respirar, El Aire En Que No Estas....es Tan Dificil.

Dame Tus Suenos, Para Hacerte Una Diadema ,
Dame El Pasado, Para No Quitarte El Tiempo,
Que Lo Que Te Esta Sobrando,A Mi Me Salva La Vida.

Dame Tu Llanto, Para Llorarlo Contigo.
Dame El Misterio, De Tus Ojos Cuando Duermes.
Dame El Aire Cuando Exhalas, Para Ver Si Te Respiro.

Ponle Mi Nombre, Al Lunar De Tu Mejilla.
Dile A Tu Oido, Que Me Escuche Cuando Miro.
Salva Mis Manos, Con El Roce De Tu Espalda.
Dame El Remedio Para No Curarme Nunca.
Es Que Es Tan Facil Respirar,El Aire Cuando Estas Siempre Es Tan Facil

Dame Tus Suenos, Para Hacerte Una Diadema ,
Dame El Pasado, Para No Quitarte El Tiempo,
Que Lo Que Te Esta Sobrando,A Mi Me Salva La Vida.

Dame Tu Llanto, Para Llorarlo Contigo.
Dame El Misterio, De Tus Ojos Cuando Duermes.
Dame El Aire Cuando Exhalas, Para Ver Si Te Respiro.

Quitate Un Beso Ponmelo Donde Prefieras,
Dame Un Pretexto Para Restrenar Mi Vida
Dame Lo Que Quieras Darme
Quitame Lo Que Tu Quieras.

5 Comments:

Blogger ..::Meems::.. said...

*snickers*

5:20 PM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

houston: tho this was funny for what it was, you gotta cut out this cyberstalking, man. emailing the naacp was genius tho.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Geekbird said...

What's the update on the cyber sexin' with your Houston groupies?

6:35 PM  
Blogger Houston said...

i emailed her my asl and she emailed me her asl, and i asked for her picture. thats it

6:42 PM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

i wonder if anybody takes the naawp seriously.

7:36 PM  

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