Friday, April 29, 2005

This shit is just unfair (DAWG stories #4)

See:
Part I
Part II
Part III
My Definition of a DAWG (on http://www.urbandictionary.com/)

I just came to the realization of how unfair life is. How come I got 8 million of these DAWG stories? Damn.

Forget what I wrote earlier. I was fucked up and tired and crazy. I couldn't help it. I was out of my mind, high on Pepsi and SunKist. I was talking gibberish, walking around in my drawers. I think I saw Alf and Johnny Carson making out outside my window. And the funny thing I only got to sleep two hours and I was back up again. Everytime I would doze off, I would wake back up two minutes later. And when the morning came, I wasn't fucked up. I was back to being sane. I think it was an adrenaline rush or something. Because i was all cracky and shaky last night, and when the morning came, I was cool and shit. And I thought I would be sleepy when I got home. Nope. I'm on-line, surfing the web.

Today, I will continue on DAWG #2, the one who called me a crackhead. She said several memorable quotes, many of which I don't remember. Here's the ones I do remember:

Sez DAWG: I think we should not spend any money to clean up the Cheaseapeake Bay. I think we should put that money towards, like, civil rights.
Sez person: Its not really about putting government money into civil rights...
Sez DAWG: Hey, stop making fun of me. I have a right to voice my opinion
Sez me: ...however misguided it may be.

Sez person: If we are going to have equal education, then we should get rid of braille, since that is a special thing for blind people only.
Sez other person: Yeah, and then we just might as well shoot em all.
Sez me: Theyd never see it coming.
Sez DAWG: Thats the most evil use of a pun ive heard in my entire life!

Actually, im pretty sure she didnt say "pun." She probably said a "word-trickery-thingy" or some bullshit like that. But thats a DAWG for ya.

In other news: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. President What's-his-face did a speech yesterday. Yippee! Freedom for everybody. It's another great day for the great nation of America. Yadda-Yadda-Yadda. The world is a better place. Now, let's all vomit in unison.

In yet other news: I'm going to do some shoutouts, nhjic, cause thats just the type of person I am.

- Tony Macq does sports, nhjic. Shit is in its infancy, but its still pretty cool. Is this the replacement to the book provided by Jonathan Fitzgerald, no everything? I dont know exactly what the situation is with Fitz, no homo. But anyways. Ch-ch-check it out.

- A Salute to Weed Carriers. 2 Words: Wu-Tang Aint Nuthin ta Fuck Wit! Ok, maybe I meant 7 words.

- Shabooty's Madness. The Internet is a sick, donkey-humping disaster. Find out more here.

- Kanyegate. I'm still lettin motherfuckers know about douchebags, no homo.

37 Comments:

Blogger flyno20 said...

I didn't look at your definitions, but DAWG is probably sumthin like Dumb Ass White Girl/Guy.

Yeah, that one bitch is dumb. Haha, you are in High School.

No homo.

6:51 PM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

its dumb ass white girl. and it takes like 1 second to look at my definition. no hata.

7:34 PM  
Blogger macq said...

As i told xplicit b4, i dont know many white people so i havent run into to many Dawgs but the shit sounds annoying

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it was evil, clever yes, but evil.

11:44 PM  
Blogger flyno20 said...

>and it takes like 1 second to look at my definition.

On dialup, it took about 3 seconds.

LOL at "This blonde DAWG just said that Mexico was part of Central America."

No homo

1:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would be petrified of you. Guys that treat girls this bad usually beat their women. What was to be gained by treating these girls so badly? Wow.

11:00 PM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

anonymous...
ive already explained that this was one year ago when i was on the crack. or maybe it was 2 weeks ago when i was on crystal mef.

but now im a new man. now im a champion for women's rights at the wal-mart. i converted and am a mormon now. furthermore, i stopped pistol-whipping my women.

> What was to be gained by treating these girls so badly?

amusement

11:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amusement? Wow you enjoy hurting people? Men beat women for amusemeny also. And dude cmon I know you were not on crack or anything, be serious about this because it is not funny. What specifically did those girls do to warrant that type of behavior? Have you ever beat a girl? Because you so have typical abusive traits.

11:33 PM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

> Wow you enjoy hurting people?

who doesnt?

> Men beat women for amusemeny also.

thats sexist. women beat men too.

> be serious about this because it is not funny.

youre right, crack is a serious issue.

> Have you ever beat a girl?

nope.

> Because you so have typical abusive traits.

oh really? are you an expert on the field? do all of your cases of spousal abuse exhibit the same traits as i supposedly exhibit? if so, what are they?

arent you supposed to, i dont know, meet the person before you do amateur pyshcoanalysis (no homo) on them, n/h?

11:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

look dude, i am not coming with malice in my heart at all. but people who like hurting people for no justifiable reasons are not well. you do show traits: ridicule, malice, attempting to humiliate or embarrass. and again cmon dude leave the ficticious account of your crack use out of this. you are capable of a serious conversation, aren't you?

12:36 AM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

> but people who like hurting people for no justifiable reasons are not well.

who is well? fuck the well, no homo.

> you do show traits: ridicule, malice, attempting to humiliate or embarrass.

this is beyond ridiculous. you read one of my posts entirely out of context and you feel you know me?

> you are capable of a serious conversation, aren't you?

not at all. crack does that to ya.

12:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Out of context? You've admitted yourself that you were mean to those girls. And there are plenty of people who are well. And cmon man leave that fake drug stuff out of this. Hey I'm not trying to provoke you, I am just conversing, but that requires two people to be serious. If I am wrong, accept my apologies because I'm not trying to be disrespectful.

12:55 AM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

I'll accept your apology for some crack.

12:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude this is ridiculous. i'm going to assume you are an adult and well past 15 years old. did i hit a nerve or something, because you are being very childish. i'm merely trying to talk to you. brushing people's comments away because you don't agree is not sophisticated at all. cmon dude.

1:04 AM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

mr. anon: let me put it this way. your suggestion that im a broke woman beater like say, j-kwon or mc hammer, is very retarded. i find it quite amusing to say a buncha bullshit about crack and becoming a mormon, as opposed to, say, trying to convince you that im not beating "my woman" as we speak.

and remember kids: it counts as consent if you punch her in the mouth before she says no.

1:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am a girl and i am very disappointed. i thought i could have a real discussion with you. that last comment you made was extremely hurtful. even playing about domestic violence is sick. should i assume from that last ugly comment that you condone hitting a woman? why are you being so abrasive? i'm trying my hardest to simply converse. jeez.

1:18 AM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

what you should learn from all this is to not take everything seriously and be so easily outraged.

if i said what i really felt itd be pretty cotdamn boring. shit youve read before. i think that hitting women is abusing not only her, but yourself, your religion, your children..yadda, yadda, yadda.

fuck that shit, no homo.

bottom line, America: learn to take a cotdamn joke.

...and im OUT!

2:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sir, I wasn't outraged at all. I have been talking simply the whole time. I haven't used one cuss word, used an exclamation point or anything. I was simply trying to talk and understand. What is wrong with that? That is the only way to learn and understand is to ask questions. If I have upset you or irritated you, I am sorry because that was not my intention. Being new and not knowing you I don't have the luxury of knowing when you are joking or for real. I didn't mean to be a pain.

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