Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Whitewater's Weekly Burning Questions


This week, we're employing the help of one Nasty Naus, who has a few pertinent questions of his own to be answered.

"What broke more water last week: New Orleans levees or Britney Spears?



Where will you find more bastards: Philadelphia or Kevin Federline's house?

Who received more targeted strikes last weekend: Cincinatti Bengals cornerbacks or Palestinian militants?

Nasty Naus asks: What's looking more lively these days: the Houston Texans, Tom DeLay's political career, Peter Jennings's lungs, John Paul II or Vladimir Lenin?



Thursday, September 22, 2005

White Girls Throwin up the Westside, Volume 2

ALSO SEE: Volume 1.

Hello, I am Zodiac Digital, a man who does not know the meaning of the words "decency", "compassion", or "querulous."

Just so people know, the research and effort I put into this is the same that I put into every post, which is to say, none at all. Anyhoo. Here we go again.


The Etnies ruins the effect. If you discount MURS and possibly Kareem Campbell, there aren't any rappers who skateboard. And Kareem is really just a skateboarder who raps.



Seriously tho, doesnt she seem to be doing some really weird shit with the fingers there? Again, the face kind of ruins the effect. Anyone from California is 100% always mad in his/her pictures. It's just common knowledge. Except gays. They're always happy.




Again with the skateboarding (BAM - not unlike Emeril Lagasse's sauces or that one gay Atmosphere song. Wait, I think I just described all Atmosphere songs that ever existed.) I also like how akward her pinky finger looks. Actually, all of her fingers look awkward - like shes awkwardly attempting to grasp her own shoulder or something. Notice how much I say "awkward" on this post - cause thats the dominant effect that these pictures cause - awkwardness. Has aynone else realized how awkward the spelling of "awkward" is?



If there was ever a time the acronym "wtf?" was ever appropiate, it's here. I pray to God that this is some weird inside joke. Like when you go "hey - what time is it now?" and you and your four loser friends laugh frantically while everyone else looks at each other awkwardly. I hate you people.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Whitewater's Weekly Burning Questions


Who's the worst fit: Verne Troyer in a dunk contest, Gheorge Muresan in a limbo contest, Eminem behind the boards, or Mike Sherman being involved in anything other than a lobotomy (nullus)?

Who would be the best nose tackle for the Packers: Clitoris Cletidus Hunt, Grady Jackson, or Reggie White's coffin?

Speaking of which, does anyone else wonder if someone called Gilbert Brown when Reggie needed a "Grave Digger?"



Who has shown more signs of life over the past few years: Terry Schiavo or the Lions' offense?

What's typically more spastic: a T.O. touchdown celebration or Michael J Fox?

What comes out more often: a 2Pac album or a member of B2K?

Who would prove more useful in a raid:


Dutch Cavalry

or


New Orleans bums?


White Girls Throwin up the Westside

Firstly: I just noticed, I just got hit # 50,000 and some. Meaning 50,000 peoples have wasted their life on bullshit like the post that follows.

This is a special feature ive been thinking about doing, but havent actually got around to doing.

Anyhoo, this may or may not be the last time I do this, depending on how it turns out. Here we go.


The one on the left looks very determined. Despite the fact she hides behind her westside. Being "mysterious", I guess.



Isn't that shit "the shocker"?



There's just something remarkable about the girl in the green's teeth. They look like...fucking Jaws or something. I dont even know.



No comment.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Wu-Tang Updates: Wu Latino, MF Doom and RZA

First off, I'm not really sure what to think of the "reggaeton/hip-hop" version of Wu-Tang made by a bunch of spainsh dukes. But here's the link anyways. Btw, it doesnt actually sound like the Wu at all, in my opinion. Whatever.
http://www.wu-tanglatino.com/

Secondly is some big news that I hadnt blogged about yet but whatever. There's this new Wu project that features a song wtih MF Doom and RZA, among other things.
http://www.flashenhanced.com/thinkdifferently/

Monday, September 12, 2005

Whitewater's Weekly Burning Questions


Which football player has the least heart: Peerless Price, Maurice Clarett or Thomas Herrion?

Where will New Orleans suffer more losses: in the French Quarter or the NFL Standings?

Is Hurricane Katrina the only thing that could pack the Superdome?

Who's less likely to be on the other end of Joe Horn's call: Someone congratulating him on a victory or FEMA?



What's more torn up: Javon Walker's ACL or Scarlett Johannson's genitalia?

Who will score more points this year:

Da Darko

or



Da Bears

Friday, September 09, 2005

New Public Enemy New Orleans song

Chea, on http://www.shutemdown.com/ way at the top. It's called "Hell No We Ain't All Right"

Also, word is "Rebirth of a Nation" got shelved. It wasn't top-class anyways, but it was pretty good as far as its still a million times better than the Tony Homo shit.

Alas, GuerillaFunk.com (Paris's site) reports that "Rebirth of a Nation" is getting pushed back yet again to January 26 because of a "previously undisclosed commitment" and the revised version will feature "additional tracks and expanded outwork"

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Further proof that "Hip-Hop literature" is an oxymoron

Fiddy Cent has taken himself way too seriously for like 8 years now, or thats how it feels because I swear theres 68 songs, 4 graphic novels, and a Burger King action figure retelling how many times he got shot.

Adding to this, it has been brought to my attention that his new "book", From Crack to More to Crack: I Sold Crack in Queens, is the must-read hip-hop "book" of the year. I foolishly thought it was Rakim Told Me or something. But alas, I came to realize that who gives a fuck about actual good music? FCtMC:ISCiQ is the fairy tale of the year - if I was literate I would soooo read it.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Jorge Ben is a pretty cool duke (No homo)

"The rate of violent crime is exceptionally high. There has also been a relatively high rate of violent attacks on tourists, especially in remote places and in the capital, Guatemala City, especially after dark. Visitors need to be particularly vigilant in the central Zone 1 of Guatemala City where most of the cheap hotels and bus terminals are, and in all parts of the city at night."

I just found this while searching for a download of HOT LESBIANS DRINKING COFFEE! educational calculator programs, and I just noticed that that's where I lived - Zone 1. That is where I was most of the summer, cause my cousins live now - they actually live in the same house I lived in - they have the same neighbors we used to have.

It's kinda cool when the travel guides say your neighborhood is especially gully.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Whitewater's Weekly Burning Questions

Another week, another round of tough questions that require tough answers. Without further ado...

What's more toast: Bob Huggins's Cincinnati tenure or a Peruvian plane?

Who's the most washed up: Natalee Holloway, a New Orleans bum, or Maurice Clarett?



Which bitch would you least want to catch the eye of?



Worst show ever: Chaotic or Britney in Vegas?



What's more resistant: the metal on top of the Superdome or the metal in the chest of the white trash pictured above?

What will prove to be the biggest source of anarchy in 2005?