Friday, July 28, 2006

American Killer

mfgrimm-americanhunger.jpgDamn. I've been listening to the new MF Grimm, American Hunger. I'm amazed that a 60 song triple album could actually be this good. This shit is pretty damn decent. Of course, no triple album can ever be great. There's still shit that could've been cut. But, there's enough material on this shit to make two good 15 track albums, and maybe even an ep or two.

There's nothing that really stands out right now. And that's probably because there's too much shit on this. In fact, I'm wondering why Grimm didn't release this shit a little at a time. He probably would have made a little more money off of it.

After a while, all the tracks sort of run together. If he had released this shit in small chunks, maybe the songs would have stuck out a little bit more, because I honestly can't remember the majority of the names on this shit.

But when it comes to the ego-trip, Grimm couldn't have done this shit any better. I'm willing to go out on a limb and call this one of the best double or triple albums ever put out. This will definitely make my top 10.

Underground Hip-Hop: American Hunger

All Hip-Hop: GM Grimm Interview

A Couple of Clips:

Fuck You
Things I've Said
Karma
Vultures
I Rather Be Wrong
The Book of Daniel (MF DOOM diss)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Best album of 2006?

Now I´d hate to post twice in a row about Iron Maiden, but this is just too awesome- The video for "The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg" off the new album, "A Matter of Life and Death". Enjoy!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

The 40 Greatest Metal Songs of All Time

I just saw this shit on VH1 the other day. Posted is the list with comments by yours truly.
40. "Breaking the Law" - Judas Priest Oh yeah, awesome song. 40 seems to early.
39. "I'm Eighteen" - Alice Cooper I guess here works.
38. "Balls to the Wall" - Accept Never heard.
37. "Smoke on the Water" - Deep Purple Now this should be way higher. The riff is the shit.
36. "Wait and Bleed" - Slipknot Never heard, but I´m sure it sucks.
35. "Metal Health" - Quiet Riot Bad hair metal. These fuckers could not write a song.
34. "Paranoid" - Black Sabbath Why not "War Pigs"?
33. "High 'n' Dry" - Def Leppard More pop metal.
32. "Thunder Kiss '65" - White Zombie Yeah! This is my shit.
31. "Rock You Like a Hurricane" - Scorpions Not really.
30. "Epic" - Faith No More This is a good choice.
29. "Caught in a Mosh" - Anthrax Anthrax´s best song.
28. "The Beautiful People" - Marilyn Manson Um yeah. Try again.
27. "Run to the Hills" - Iron Maiden Maiden rules of course, but I think they have better songs.
26. "Refuse/Resist" - Sepultura Sepultura´s best song, with the awesome chorus.
25. "Cowboys from Hell" - Pantera Pantera! Good stuff.
24. "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" - AC/DC If you do not like AC/DC you hate music.
23. "Freak on a Leash" - Korn Good video and all but, come on.
22. "Enter Sandman" - Metallica This one never did it for me like other Metallica songs. Oh well.
21. "Paradise City" - Guns N' Roses No thank you.
20. "I Wanna Rock" - Twisted Sister Maybe later.
19. "Man in the Box" - Alice in Chains Alice in Chains rules.
18. "Slave to the Grind" - Skid Row More hair metal, albeit this isn´t as bad.
17. "Live Wire" - Mötley Crüe And more hair metal.
16. "Walk" - Pantera Pantera again, although you have to question whether it´s really their best song.
15. "Bulls on Parade" - Rage Against the Machine I know RATM are probably poseurs and poseur all the way to the ATM, but man, the solo!
14. "Toxicity" - System of a Down Isn´t this a little too high? Come on now.
13. "Rainbow in the Dark" - Dio This song never did it for me. "Holy Diver", on the other hand...
12. "Bring the Noise" - Anthrax & Public Enemy Best rap-rock song ever. BASS!
11. "Peace Sells" - Megadeth MEGADETH! Peace Sells is totally my shit.
10. "Ace of Spades" - Motörhead AKA The Greatest Song Ever. 10 seems not good enough.
9. "Crazy Train" - Ozzy Osbourne How can you not like this song? You may hate Ozzy with a burning passion, but you still cannot hate this song.
8. "Raining Blood" - Slayer Why not "Angel of Death"? I mean, I guess this works too.
7. "The Number of the Beast" - Iron Maiden Can´t argue with this one. Awesome vocals too.
6. "Detroit Rock City" - KISS I understand the importance of KISS and all, but I don´t really like this song much.
5. "You've Got Another Thing Comin'" - Judas Priest Oh man. Awesome shit.
4. "Back in Black" - AC/DC AKA The Greatest Song of All Time. I guess 4 works though.
3. "Master of Puppets" - Metallica Awesome, awesome. But is it the best Metallica song? I would postulate that no.
2. "Welcome to the Jungle" - Guns N' Roses Probably GnR´s best song, although Axl Rose´s weird vocal quirks and habits irk me.
1. "Iron Man" - Black Sabbath I mean, what can I say? An all-time rock classic.

Okay. This list was really weird. It listed all sorts of alt-metal and hard rock but no Led Zeppelin? Also, tons of bullshit. I could do without all the hair metal and the nu-metal and whatever SOAD is. Also, I personally dont like GnR, but they´re giving them too much credit either way. My list, made quickly and with very little thought:

1. "Ace of Spades" - Motorhead
2. "Hallowed Be Thy Name" - Iron Maiden
3. "Iron Man" - Black Sabbath
4. "You've Got Another Thing Comin'" - Judas Priest
5. "Holy Wars... The Punishment Due" - Megadeth
6. "Crazy Train" - Ozzy Osbourne
7. "Battery" - Metallica
8. "The Trooper" - Iron Maiden
9. "Breaking the Law" - Judas Priest
10. "Angel of Death" - Slayer
11. "War Pigs" - Black Sabbath
12. "Peace Sells" - Megadeth
13. "The Number of the Beast" - Iron Maiden
14. "Bring the Noise" Public Enemy featuring Anthrax
15. "Cowboys from Hell" - Pantera
16. "Powerslave" - Iron Maiden
17. "Victim of Changes" - Judas Priest
18. "For Whom the Bell Tolls" - Metallica
19. "Bulls on Parade" - Rage Against the Machine
20. "Holy Diver" - Dio

And since I´m at it, best bands:
1. Iron Maiden
2. Black Sabbath
3. Judas Priest
4. Motorhead
5. Megadeth
6. Metallica
7. Slayer
8. Rage Against the Machine
9. Pantera
10. Ozzy Osbourne

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Real Nano Deal

This is my second Zen Nano Review.

Zen Nano: PriceGrabber

I recently received my Zen Nano Plus, and I must say, I'm pretty impressed with it. This thing is smaller than a cigarette lighter, and it runs on just one AAA battery. It comes with a wristband, which I will probably never use, a line in cord, a usb cord, a protective cover with a clip, and a pair of ear plugs.

There are three plugs on the player, one for the usb cable, one for a pair of headphones, and one for the line-in cord. The only thing I dislike about the player are the earplugs. They hurt. So, I've been substituting a pair of normal headphones.

As stated in a previous post, it has an fm radio and a built-in microphone. I was able to record directly from the radio, as well as speak right into it like a regular voice recorder. I was also able to use the line in cord to record a track direct from my portable cd player, although I doubt if I'll ever use this feature again in the future, since I prefer to rip high quality tracks to my computer for safe keeping, and unfortunately, this thing only rips between 96 and 160.

I can't really tell you about the software that comes with it. I read several reviews before I bought it, and most of them told me to avoid the software, so I did. And you really don't need it. All you really need to do is connect the player to your computer via the usb cable, and your computer should recognize it as a removable drive. From there, I was able to copy folders from my computer straight to the player.

Make sure to create folders in the player, because the player doesn't read playlists. Instead, it reads files alphabetically or numerically. I was able to use the skip folder feature on the player, moving between folders. Each folder was made up of individual albums, except maybe two - one being used to store a few individual tracks, and another used to place my podcasts into. The player also creates a folder automatically for recorded tracks.

The navigation is done by a scroller, a little wheel, similar to a volume wheel you might find on a cd player. The only difference is that this wheel is smaller, and you can press it. To move between menu options, the wheel, or scroller, must be moved forward or backward. To select a menu item, you must click on the scroller after you reach the specific item.

To play music, a song must be selected, and the small play/pause button, which is on the front of the player, must be clicked. To move between songs, the scroller can moved forward or backward. To fast forward and rewind, the scroller must be moved forward or backward also, although this time, you must hold the scroller in place in either direction. To turn up the volume on the player, there are two buttons next to the scroller for this.

It took a little time to get used to the whole set-up, but when I finally learned how to use most of the features, I found myself enjoying this little thing, using it for hours on end. And for the price of $65, I view this as a pretty sweet deal.

By the way, I was able to store at least nine albums on here, where most of the material was encoded between 192, and 320. Think of it this way. Most cds that are encoded at 192 are about 80 to 100 megabytes. Most cds encoded around 256 or 320, range between 120 and 130. Most vbr material usually take up between 60 and 80 megabytes. And most 128 material range between 50 and 70. Songs encoded at 128 are usually a minute a megabyte. So, a five minute song is usually five megabytes. 20 songs that run about 5 minutes long equal 100 megabytes, by non-scientific standards. That means 100 songs equal 500 megabytes, and 200 songs equal a gigabyte.

I don't know how Creative got their 500 song estimate. I'm assuming most of the mp3s would have to be encoded at around 80 or some other crap quality like that. And I doubt if most people encode at those crappy rates, so my estimate at 200 songs might be closer to how many songs you'll be able to hold on this thing.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The First Family (NSFW)

I recently pitched an idea for a new television show to one of the major studios. I won't tell you which company it was so as not to attribute retardedness to their nature. But needless to say, they told me that they would get back to me within a week. I feel pretty positive about the whole endeavor. I think big things could come of it. At least I hope so, because I would rather not have to go through another presentation any time soon.

bushsatanhorns2.jpgI was actually quite freightened to tell you the truth. I stood in my nice, wool, gray, pin-striped suit, sweating immensely, trying at best to seem professional. And before me sat (name omitted), who seemed rather disinterested in anything I had to say. He had relayed to me recently that he and his company were not looking for the family friendly material I had previously pitched his way. He said he could only greenlight something new and edgy, something with young hip mass appeal. And I told him soon after, that I believed I had come up with something in that vein.

So, that day, I stood before him ready to present what I had previously inferred over the phone would be the greatest new show of the fall season. And I do believe I did my best to engage Mr. (name omitted) to give my idea a fighting chance.

Below is a simple retelling of my proposal:


The first episode, we meet Heathcliff Cosbowl Bush, a lawyer for a large oil company. He has a doctor for a wife, and her name is Laura. And the two of them have two daughters, one son, and a dog named Clipper. The daughters' names are Jen and Randy. Jen is 16, and Randy is eight. The son's name is Malcolm. Malcolm has a best friend who goes by the name of Roach Clip. They are all introduced to the viewing public by myself, who will play the role of the omniscient voiceover.

The first episode starts with Heathcliff and Felicia having sex in their bedroom. Heathcliff is giving Felicia anal. Felicia, due to excitement, loses control of her bowels and proceeds to defecate in the bed. The large mound of shit pushing against his penis causes Heathcliff to jump up, and in the process, he falls out of the bed, cracking his noggin wide open, exposing blood and brain matter.

Jen comes in after hearing the fall and sees her mother, ass up, with fecal matter all about the bed; and her father, Heathcliff, on the floor, with brain matter exposed, and still stiff from arousal. Seeing the image, Jen starts rubbing her nipples through her t-shirt. And soon after, she jumps in the bed herself, taking large clumps of shit to her face and mouth. She soon begins taking it in nasally, sniffing the shit through her nose like cocaine.

Heathcliff rises off the floor. He goes to the closet and pulls out a crack vial. He lights it up and starts smoking up a large rock of crack. He then passes the pipe to his wife and jumps on the back of his daughter. At this point he begins hitting Jen from the back, anally.

The mother, with one hand holding the crack pipe to her mouth, begins masturbating with the other after becoming aroused from seeing her husband hit her daughter from the back. Jen begins screaming in esctasy, yelling, "Fuck me, Bill! Oh, fuck me, Bill!" From which her father replies, "My name ain't Bill! Who the fuck is Bill? "

The noise awakens Malcolm, who was asleep next to his friend, Roach Clip, after both partook in a heated display of circle-jerking to a Punk'd marathon on MTV.

bushsatan-horns.jpgMalcolm runs to his parent's bedroom and beholds the sight of Jen's intake of fecal matter while being rimmed from the back by their father. He further beholds his mother digging herself out while smoking the crack pipe. The image causes him to vomit about the floor. He soon loses control of his bowel movements also and proceeds to shit about himself.

He runs downstairs to the kitchen, his boxers drooping from the shit. From a drawer, he removes a cleaver. He runs back upstairs in hopes of ending the madness. When he arrives, he finds that Randy has joined into the fray. Randy is giving their mother oral while her mother urinates in her mouth. Malcolm, overcome with grief, starts screaming loudly.

Shaking greatly, Malcolm reaches into his boxers and pulls out his penis. He takes the knife to himself and quickly castrates himself. His bloody hand lets loose of the appendage, and the penis falls to the floor. Soon after, Clipper, approaches and starts gnawing on it. Malcolm then takes the knife and stabs it deep into each of his eye sockets. He soon falls to the floor, red and bloody.

Afterwards, Clipper walks up to Malcolm, partaking of the vomit first, and soon after, inserts his erect penis into Malcolm's eye socket. And in wildly controlled motion, he proceeds to fuck Malcolm in his blackened eyes.

Roach Clip, who was fast asleep in Malcolm's room, finally comes out. He sees before him, his best friend on the floor being fucked in his eye socket by the family dog. And this makes Roach Clip aroused. He quickly jumps over Malcolm and the dog, and crouches behind Clipper. He pulls out his penis and begins fucking the dog in the ass. The dog howls feverishly to the tune of Blue Moon.

Soon after, I join into the scene, playing the role of Satan. I'm dressed in a red pajama suit, with cheap plastic devil horns atop my head. In one of my hands is a canister of gas fuel, in the other, a cheap plastic red pitchfork. I pour the canister of gas all about the room of fornicators. And then I proceed with my lines:


There's a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this situation: Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."


That's when I flick open a cigarette lighter and drop it to the floor. This lights the fuel, and the entire bedroom begins to burn in a blaze of red fire. Soon, the whole house follows, smoke filling the night air. From the devastation, I walk out with the severed head of Clipper raised before me. I take a bite from the dogs head and drop it about my feet.

With my mouth filled with blood, and my body charred and blackened by raging flames, I look before the neighborhood folk, wave, and speak: "That's all folks. Tune in next week for more."


At this point, I paused, my back to Mr. (name omitted), my arms stretched wide in triumph. I carefully lowered them, making sure to turn slowly before him, hoping for some response, rather positive or negative, although I hoped it was the latter.

For the longest time, he sat silently, with his hand to his face, a finger tapping about his lips.

And suddenly, he spoke, "Amazing! That's one hell of a show! What do you call it?"

And I stood before him proudly, proclaiming victoriously, "The First.. Family."

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Zen

zen.JPGI'm currently searching for a new mp3 player. Only thing is, I'm not about to spend a couple hundred like I did on my old Dell Jukebox, which I dropped one too many times. Instead, I'm going the cheap route. I'll probably get something in between 50 to a hundred dollars, meaning something that will only hold around 512 MB or 1GB. It also means that the interface will probably be shitty. But I can't see myself paying several hundred for something I'm only gonna use when I'm riding the bus.

Only reason I see dropping $300 on a mp3 player is so you can have a massive amount of music at your disposal all the time. But who listens to more than two to three hours of music in one sitting. Really, all you need is, five good quality versions of albums you think you might want to listen to in that day, and when the next day comes around, and you wanna listen to something different, simply load it up before you go out. Sure, you won't have your entire music collection at your disposal all the time, but you never will.

Even with a 60 GB player, you probably still won't be able to hold even half the crap you have. If you're like me, and you're a music lover, you probably have several hundred cds and cassettes at your disposal, not to mention the 100 GBs you might have on your hard drive. Point being, until there's a 200 GB mp3 player, no one needs to spend more than 100 on a player. It just doesn't make sense.

Take cassette and cd players. If you're old school like me, you probably had a Walkman when you were growing up. If you bought cassettes, and listened to hip-hop, you definitely had a Walkman at some point in your life. And if you were like me, you probably had to have the one with the fm radio so you could listen to the radio when you ran out of tapes. And my guess, just like me, you probably broke one or two of them as well. In fact, if I combined all the cassette and cd players I've had over my lifetime, it would probably would number up around 20 or more, of course counting boom boxes and other portable listening devices. And between 10 to 40 bucks a pop, that probably added up to some major dough I could spent on something really important, like porn.

The point I'm making is that mp3 player are the new cassette and cd players of the future. And like these devices, you'll probably go through at least two or three every five years. Now, who the hell is so trend conscience that they have to spend a couple of hundred every time for a new ipod. I'd rather put my money on something nice and cheap, something that may not be as cool or stylish, but in the end, it still gets the job done. And that's why the next time I get a mp3 player, I'm going straight up discount.

My choices:

Creative Dark Blue 1GB USB 2.0 ZEN NANO PLUS

This baby is only 61.99. It does mp3s and wmas, even though I have very few wmas. It has a voice recorder and a 32 station fm radio. You don't need software, and you can use it like a regular usb flash drive, storing documents and photos.

Now if they only had this bad boy in black:

Creative Black 1GB USB 2.0 ZEN NANO PLUS

And if I wanted to go a little cheaper I could get this one below for 59.99.

Fuji Labs Black 1GB USB 2.0 Portable Audio Player

Now, that's what I call a bargain.

ODAY!