Pitchfork Needs to shut the fuck up

So today I stumbled upon Pitchfork's review of the first 4 Run-DMC albums.
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/r/run-dmc/run-dmc-king-of-rock-raising-hell-tougher-than-leather.shtml

This is how they rated it
Run-DMC: 8.1
King of Rock: 5.7
Raising Hell: 7.7
Tougher Than Leather: 6.4

That's right. They think it's all mediocre at best. This is why "hipsters" on the Internets shouldn't review hip-hop. Cause undoubtedly, they say this sucks while the best shit ever is...what? Kanye West, Buck 65, Atmosphere, Aesop Rock...I mean come on here.

I never expected Pitchfork to have any idea what the hell they're talking about, but this is just too much.

Also, new rule: you can't have people who have literally built shrines on the internets to an artist review their new album. Yes, I'm talking about "Late Menstruation" by Kanye West. 9.5? Now that's some bullshit.

Hispanics are ruining hip-hop

Wait, no they're not. I think we all know that the people ruining it are the Tall Israelis runnin' this rap shit.

But really, some of this reggaeton bullshit is fucking inexcusable. Seriously. After having the 3 hispanic kids behind me blast some bullshit for a long time, I finally went to them and said "does it ever bother you that they all have the same motherfucking drumbeat?" of course I was greeted with all sorts of retarded half-arguments, including the girl who said "well you can say that about any music, like you know when you listen to jazz that you're listening to jazz." Which of course brings up the questions "huh?" and "what the fuck are you talking about?" My only response was: "are you seriously comparing this shit to jazz music?" I mean, seriously people. There is more variation in half a jazz song than the entire genre of reggaeton.

Cinco de mayo irritates me. There, I said it. White people (who as we all know are devoid of any actual culture, and thus steal shit and proceed to water it down completely, see: jazz) get a vague sense of a celebration which involves brown people speaking spanish and tequila. The rest is a blur. Some random occurance in Mexican history is now an excuse to get drunk. Way to go, retards.

No one gives a fuck about Cinco de mayo outside of the US and Mexico, and even in Mexico its not a big deal (in fact, it probably is a bigger deal in the US). I bet you that 99% of the people who celebrate have only some sort of vague idea what the hell they're celebrating.

---QUICK HISTORY LESSON---
Im going to breeze thru this. Basically, Napoleon III sends a bunch of well-armed frogs to take over Mexico. The Mexican army, which should lose because they suck, win. This happened on the 5th of may. Woo-hoo cinco de mayo!

Except not. Napoleon III got word of this and he was like "fuck these bitches" and just sent more frogs over, and this time the frogs won. He put in Archduke Maxmillian as Emperor of Mexico. Woo-hoo European domination!

So you see, its about winning a battle in a war that the Mexicans lost. Isnt that awesome? Yeah, again, way to go, retards.

Of course, 5 years after, the Mexican rebels got rid of the Emperor, wrote a new constitution, elected a president, yadda yadda. Of course, white people dont get drunk on that day.

If one person asks me if I'm celebrating Cinco de mayo (spanish for "Day where we pretend to like Latinos, who are all Mexicans"), I will have to smack a bitch.

In short: fuck this bullshit.