Sunday, January 09, 2005

The best review ever

A review of 50 Cent's "Get Rich or Die Trying"

It gives the album a score of 12/10, BUT if you skip a few paragraphs you'll see its ALL SARCASTIC.

"What you bandwagonners must first understand is that this album cannot be rated on a mortal scale, because 50 is a rap God."
First you start thinkin "wow...this kid's an idiot". But as the review goes on you get to parts like:

"Not to be confused with sing-song rappers with weak lyrics that build careers from hooks, 50 lays into Ja Rule on "Back Down."
Actually 50 is exactly a "
sing-song rapper with weak lyrics who built a career from hooks".

"...he broke down the harsh reality of drug use, and the repercussions of choosing that lifestyle. The entire third verse is a brilliant metaphor in which he likens drugs to the media, suggesting that we intake it for years until it warps our brain, eventually making us dependent."
its actually NOTHING like that. it's actually mostly the why, what and how of what he smokes. That metaphor doesn't exist.

"50 uses extended metaphor later on the LP, for the song "P.I.M.P.," in which he personifies capitalism and describes corporate employees as "hoes on a strip.""
No he doesn't. There is no metaphor, its simply about being a pimp. He actually never mentions capitalism, employees or even "hoes on a strip".

50's verse describes a man on the edge of sanity, being forced to deal with the pressures of the inner-city, and finally snaps, resulting in the murder of a rival dealer that turns out to be his brother. The last line is guaranteed to give you chills."
Damn...this one is nothing like that. It's mostly "i'll shoot you". The last line is "I got somethin for your ass, keep thinkin im pussy".

50 Cent is "Ali in his prime," but that may be modest considering Ali still had challengers coming for his spot, while no one in their right mind wants any parts of this G-Unit soldier."
I wonder if people took it seriously. I mean that shit about Ali was just too obvious. But I wonder if anyone goes to their friends the next day and starts talking about metaphors to socio-economics in "P.I.M.P.".


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