Thursday, January 06, 2005

Random things I forgot to include

Ciara can't sing
...and this is no "John Legend" can't sing. This is on some "I can't sing" shit. Her hit "Goodies", examplifies this with showing absolutely no range, and letting her chorus do the singing. It may or may not feature Petey Pablo, it's really irrelevent whether or not some shitty southern "crunk" rapper is in it or not. The beat, produced by Lil' Jon feautures typical annoying garbage production. The weak synth melody is just so...annoying. The second single, "Talentless Hack Dance" or whatever, features the genuinely untalented Missy Elliot, and it's even worse than I just made it sound.

Seriously, Missy Elliot sucks
I mean, her last lead single "Pass that Douche" uses the Diwali clap pattern that is SO over-fuckin-used. It's sad that she's most well known for her background dancers. Oh, and I dont give a fuck how much weight she lost, she still is ugly.

Okay, I admit it.
I don't have cable/satellite. I'm not proud, but it's the truth.

Wanna get fucked up legally?
Drink Sobe Adrenaline rush.

Okay, I admit it.
I'm obsessed with collecting acapellas. Yesterday, I almost considered d/l'ing Young Buck's " Shorty Wanna Ride" (or some other generic song). God save me.

Message to Snoop Dogg:
Retire. NOW. Okay, the last song ("Drop It Like It's Hot") was actually good. The beat was, gulp, inventive, something commercial rap has been avoiding for YEARS now. What made it happen was percussive tongue clicks and long bass breaks. The rest of the album is, unfortunately, crap. The Dogg had a classic album waaaay back, so just retire, and he'll be fine. I don't need to see him become Paris Hilton's only black friend in a stunt to make her look less racist. Speaking of which...

Paris Hilton is so untalented it hurts. Plus she's racist.
Her singing is so bad, I'd rather listen to Ciara. Fuck, I'd rather listen to Ashlee Simpson. It's like, doesn't she know what lip-synching is? Her acting just might be worse. It's painful. Please, nobody make a comment about how you "liked her straight to video stuff" or whatever. It is downright sad that the only things that make her famous is being born rich and being in homemade porn. And of course the homemade porn was a publicity stunt, but even then the "n-word" escaped her DSL's. Damn racist. That "Simple Life" show has only 1 joke, and it was beaten to death many moons ago. The joke being she's stupid, and she must now do manual labor, which requires 0 intelligence yet she's too stupid to do it. The "Simple Life" is still less racist than "Monday Night Football". Don't believe me? Listen to what the main man the TZA had to say about it:

"MNF is insanely racist. [Look at] how many non-crackas [are] in the booth[...]Then look at how many non-crackas are on the [field.]"

Sorry, but TZA's got some issues with parallel structure and spelling.

2 Comments:

Blogger "Roland Pavlak" said...

"Oh, and I dont give a fuck how much weight she lost, she still is ugly." I know right. And about "Drop it like its hot," Mikey said that Pharrel actually invented the beat for that song, but it's mikey so look it up yourself.

"but even then the "n-word" escaped her DSL's." hahahaha

5:12 PM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

oh and the neptunes made the drop it like its hot beat.
pharrell being part of the neptunes

5:17 PM  

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