Thursday, January 13, 2005

I don't have cable/satellite...deal with it, bitches

So I was watching the U Peoples Network and was just SHOCKED to find out that they were the highest-rated network for African-American's on Wednesday. Next you're gonna tell me that that shitty-ass Spanish channel is the highest rated network for Walmart workers. They even went so far as to ask why this was, and said something about "originality". Riiiiiight. It doesn't have to do with the fact that random rappers show up on the shows every week? No, people watch because it is executively produced by Kelsey Grammer (true, btw).

The only sitcoms worth watching regularly are "Seinfeld", "My Wife & Kids" and the "George Lopez Show" (not that I actually do that, btw). "Seinfeld" is easily the best because of just plainly being funnier. "My Wife & Kids" is pretty funny also, and it doesn't rely on the fact that its a "black" show by having Lil' Bow Wow or whoever every other day. "The George Lopez" show is actually funny too, and you gotta give extra points for casting Masiela Lusha, who is Turkish, as the attractive half-Mexican half-Cuban 16 year-old. Moving on...

Easily the best non-comedic show on television is "Law & Order" (the original, altho the other 2 are pretty good). The acting and storylines are OUTSTANDING. "SVU" is the best spinoff, the storylines are as complicated as they get and the acting, particularly by children, is AMAZING. Plus, bonus credit for casting Ice-T (the kid with the song "Cop Killa") playing a cop.

Speaking of "Law & Order" I caught a "Ripped From the Headlines" episode yesterday. I saw the beggining, and it's the "Rap Awards" or something or other. Someone goes to meet another person upstairs and he starts yelling out his name. The dude coming upstairs gets no response. I was like..."Oh no, I see where this is-" and before I could finish my thought, they show a dead body on the floor. I was like "shit! they didn't really..."

For people who haven't caught on, the guy on the floor dead was supposed to be Jam Master Jay (RIP). No one calls him that, but the black dude takes the white guy on a refresher course of the dead guy's career (btw the dead guy's name is RC). I thought it was funny how the black investigator turned into "Stereotypical Black Person A" when rap is brought up...

Black Guy: "Yo, this be the man RC...one of them ol skool cats on the wheelz of steel, knahmean? He was all about parties and all that other crazy dope shit, feel me dawg?"
His partner: "Huh?"
BG: "Erhm, I mean, this African-American fellow seems to be the type which sung the rap music."

I thought that re-making JMJ's death into a TV show was kind of tasteless. I mean, it's like making a show about John Lennon dying. They went all graphic, showing him lying there with blood on his chest. Kinda tasteless. The fact that there were so many similiraties to the JMJ death made the guilty person really easy to spot. The show isn't going to say it was the bodyguard or the wife or the protege, otherwise they're kinda suggesting thats what happened in real life. They raised a few points about rap music, for example, the fact that streep rep = sales and that a lot of rappers will make up stories about how "hard" they are in order to increase it. Case in point, ODB (RIP), sadly. The story gets a little more suprising towards the end, but that's it. It ends with the blonde woman gettin fired, and she goes "Is it because I'm a lesbian?"

SAY WHAT?

There was a lesbian all the time on the show and no one told me? Did she just make that up? The guy says "no" but still fires her. Thinking about it, if you were a woman about to be fired, make sure to tell your male boss that you're a lesbian. He'll probably keep you and go looking for another and install security cameras everywhere. That is, if you're not fat. No one likes fat lesbians.

"My style is similar to AIDS, you F with it now but catch it later"

2 Comments:

Blogger Doc Savage said...

I had the same response to that lesbian revelation. That shit came out of left field.

And I tend to gravitate to Criminal Intent on Sundays. I'm hooked on that show.

12:08 AM  
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