Monday, June 12, 2006

Ben

pecos.jpgFor the past few weeks there's been this rodent scurrying around my apartment. At first I didn't do anything, hoping the bastard would leave on its own. Then I bought these giant-sized glue traps. Only problem is that the rodent was doing some old Tom & Jerry type crap on a brother, jumping over the glue traps and everything. I felt I was destined to live with this bastard until I moved.

Then, over the weekend, the rodent went crazy, climbing on my tables and on the ladder, and running across my bathtub. He scared me enough that I couldn't even go to sleep. I actually spent the rest of the night on the floor in the hallway of my building like a hobo. When I awoke Sunday morning, I knew what I had to do. I had to go ol' skool on a rodent.

The next morning I bought these spring traps, the ones my grandmother used to use back in the day. And then I waited. I woke up the next morning looking around, searching for Uncle Ben, and I saw no signs of him. So, I got dressed and ate. I decided to do one last check of the apartment before I left. And wouldn't you know, I found a little surprise. Ben was dead, his neck snapped in two by the mouse trap.

Then, I did a little prayer to Baby Jesus. I felt bad because I had just killed one of God's lil creatures. It made me wanna cry. So, I went to Baby Jesus and asked his forgiveness. And then, I threw his filthy rat bastard ass in the garbage and celebrated in my head.

But make no mistake, I felt for Ben. He wasn't my friend, but I didn't think things should've ended like they did. We couldn't live together anymore, but we could have still stayed friends. Sure, I hated him, but, uh,... forget it, I hated him. That's it. Filthy bastard!

10 Comments:

Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

why is his name ben?

12:17 AM  
Blogger Doc Savage said...

You're joking. Right? Michael Jackson... Ben... mouse..

9:42 PM  
Anonymous wonder woman said...

it's not too late.

dept of mental health restoration
112 deranged blvd
insane, ca 62189

oh and for the disclaimer:

restoration of mental health is not guaranteed for severely damaged patients. oh well dude life can be a bitch.

8:42 PM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

^EL OH EL

12:19 PM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

ethered?

12:20 PM  
Blogger jirzygurl said...

so I know I am late (I just found this blog)... but LMAOOOOO @ calling the rodent Ben! HA!

4:32 PM  
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