Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Fistful of Quarters

I'm so broke, it's ridiculous.  I got like 30 bucks in the bank,and I gotta make that stretch until next Friday, when I get paid again.  I don't know how I'm gonna do it.  I mean, there's gas, and a bus card so I can go back and forth to work.

Although I may not need that bus card if I get fired this week. But I still need gas money.  And my co-workers are hitting me up for some dough to chip in on some crappy office party. 

Now, how the hell am I gonna be able to do that.  I don't even have dough to feed myself, and they expect a brother to put some dough on office-crap-party.  It's sickening.  It makes me wanna vomit.  In fact, I might just vomit.  Although, I might not because, again, I could be fired by the end of this week, which means I won't have to chip in for the office party. 

I don't know if I should laugh or cry.  I'll probably cry because if I don't get fired, I'll have to go back to my crappy job next week where I don't do jack but surf the Internet and write blog posts. And I'll be hungry.  And I'll have to chip in for that damn office party.

But if I do get fired, then I'll still be surfing the Internet and making blog posts, but I won't be getting paid for it.  And I'll still be hungry.  Plus, I won't be able to pay next month's rent,since I tend to live paycheck to paycheck.  But at least I won't have to chip in for that crappy office party.

Oh, what the dilemma.  Or the De Palma.  What's the name of that film with Melanie Griffith, and she's naked in parts of it. And she plays a prostitute.  Yeah, I know it sounds like all her films.  Or is that Sharon Stone.  I think that might be Sharon Stone.  By the way, remind me to get a bootleg copy of Basic Instinct 2 off the Internet.  I need to "let off" some stress over the weekend.  And I think that movie might be the perfect tool for the, uh, job.


Blogger Horus said...

Here's a random hustle:

Send a friend into a Golf Pro Shop. He tells the man at the desk that he lost a Ping Driver with the initials L.M. (or whatever) on it. Of course there will not be one like that in there but the guy behind the counter will do one of two things about 80% of the time. 1) He will bring out a box of lost clubs and look through them right in front of you, or 2)he will let you look through the box yourself. Your friend looks for the most expensive club in the box and makes mental note of the details of the club, markings, initials, etc. Then he says his club is not in there and leaves. Gives you info on club in box, next day you go in there and describe the club to a tee. Man behind counter will totally believe it is your club because of the precise description and promptly hand it over. Now either sell, or more likely, pawn.

Good luck with the $$$ situation.

11:39 AM  
Anonymous Noodles (Vostov aka Jules) said...

Wow, Horus. I would really try that, but I'm young and black. That won't really fly with whitey. Have you pulled that shit off?

7:42 PM  
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