Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Yahoo, MicroCrap: LIGAF

Hermit Rule #497

Yahoo, Microsoft close to IM pact

I'm trying to get back into the blogging thing, and this is one of my first attempts at doing one of those traditional blogging things. You know, when you regurgitate bullshit you found on a real news site, and add your worthless bullshit comments about the crap. So, here it goes.

Yahoo and Microsoft are close to opening their IM protocols to each other. Both of these companies, along with AOL, have spent years closing any interoperability holes in their networks, hoping to force their respective users to stick with their network, using their proprietary software. Of course, this has been a failure, seeing that many users have flocked to Trillian, and the open source IM client, GAIM. And now with Google jumping into the mix, Yahoo and Microsoft have finally saw the need to combine their two networks, creating one of the largest IM networks around.

The exchange of both text and voice messages is being considered, although the source stressed that details of the pact are still being finalized. The two companies are planning to announce the deal on Wednesday, the source said.

Unfortunately, the move is too little, too late. Why? Because I honestly could give a fuck. I haven't used the MSN or Yahoo IM networks in years. In fact, I hate IM altogether. I only keep the Trillain client on my hard drive for that rare occasion when I'm looking to be bothered by stalkers.

Anyone who has used IM before know what I'm talking about. Let's say, you're surfing the Internets, checking out some porn, or possibly writing that incredible blog posting that will blow everyone to pieces. Or you're hustling hard in an online multiplayer round of NBA Live, or Madden, and some dude you haven't spoken to in ages decides to "knock" on your door for a chat.

Now, you're fuckin' busy. You got titties and vagina flaps to look at, and all of a sudden your boner gets interrupted by Stalker90210. Now, this beyotch ain't saying shit he couldn't have said in a fuckin' e-mail, but now, he wants to have a long conversation on, let's say, anal warts. He's hitting you up on how you feel about anal warts, and all you wanna do is magnify that zoom on this fucked up Internet porn beyotch's anal wart. But you can't, because everytime you try to zoom, you hear that annoying IM ping, and this asshole has a new question to ask you.

Now, you don't wanna hurt this beyotch's feelings, because, well, it's your e-homes. You know, he's part of your fuckin' Internet crew. But you really would like to devote your full attention on this porn beyotch's cootchie stank. And you can't, because home-skillet won't fuckin' stop pinging you with his dumb shit. So, you end up making up some dumb fuckin' excuse like, I don't know, you forgot to rape yourself early, so you gotta get to oiling up the screwdriver handles. Or, maybe, somebody's trying to kill you, and you'll talk to them later after you stop the attack. You know, some over the top bullshit.

But I say, why go through that bullshit in the first place. Kill the IM bullshit before it starts. Don't load that shit, EVER. If dude needs to get in touch with you, dude needs to relearn that shit we used to call e-mail. You heard of that shit, beyotches. That's what that shit was made for.


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