Friday, May 13, 2005

Thievin DAWG's

note: This was written by CMB, who is my new favorite person who's ancestors don't come from Sri Lanka.

I know DAWG usually stands for Dumb Ass White Girls or some such nonsense, but these three women came into the restaurant I work at, calling themselves Women of God, so Dumb Ass Women of God it is. Now three ladies came in just as we were closing yesterday, trying to be cheap as hell. Anyways they had a little boy with them, and instead of ordering everyone something to eat or drink, they want to split one BBQ tray between the 3.5 of them.

A BBQ tray is 4.10 and it comes with slaw and hush puppies. Now a BBQ platter is 4.99 and comes with your choice of 2 vegetables. They don't want the BBQ platter because it costs 89 cent more. They want the BBQ tray, but they want to change the slaw and hush puppies to two different vegetables. Now everyone reading this should know by now that what they wanted was a BBQ platter, they just didn't want to pay the difference. And being the cheap DAWGs that they were, they wanted to share two cups of water.

Okay, water is 25 cents, but they wait until I ring it up so that they don't have to pay. I didn't say shit I just let them have it because I didn't want to go through the hassle of explaining this to them or having to ring up anything else. then one woman comes back and asks if she can get a small cup of water for the little boy who is sitting at the table talking about how great she is for getting him a cup of water. So I say I don't care, and she proceeds to fill the cup up with water.

Because we are closing and I'm trying to get shit done so I can go home, I went to the back to get some more ketchup, and as soon as I got back I see this DAWG pouring out the water as fast as she can and refilling it with sprite, because as we all know, sprite is clear and it is the only soda you can steal and call it water. I just sat there and watched those hypocrites. I wanted so badly to call her out and embarass the shit out of her, but I knew my boss would get on me. HOW CHEAP CAN YOU BE? Damn, I mean I would have gave them the hookup, especially for the little boy, but don't be so crude as to come into my place of business trying to preach to me and talk me into coming to your church; then when I turn my back you're stealing a 75 cent cup of sprite! She's lucky, because I'm big on karma, so the next time I'm probably at McDonalds or wherever, and I'm stealing my complimentary cup of sprite, I should be safe.

On a totally unrelated note (by djxplicit): Shoutouts to the BJB again, nhjic. They mentioned this site, nhjic, and that is the kind of accomplishment you tell your grand children.

4 Comments:

Blogger flyno20 said...

xplicit seems a little young to be lookin at any "blowjob" sites

1:27 AM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

yeah, i just found that website thru a friend who pointed out how funny it sounded that blowjobs were environmentally friendly recycling.

i checked it out and i thought it was funny too, so i linked to it

then these people commented on my site and one of them said something like: "we put a link to you, come check it out here" and i did.

8:36 AM  
Blogger macq said...

Back to those damn theivin dawgs........shouldnt those people should not care about the bill, they should put their faith in the big G and he'll take care of em .....right?

1:18 PM  
Blogger Zodiac Digital said...

> theivin

is this a common spelling error? i changed the title cause of the same misspelling.

its "thievin," godammit.

i before e except after c.
thief, not theif

....kids these days....

3:39 PM  

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